4th January 2009
Clive began by telling everyone about HFC's and Romford's new venues. He then followed
with one of his jokes.
Bill is first on today. His first song is a tragic comedy number about relationships gone
wrong, but lottery numbers being extremely right, which made it all worthwhile. Next song
was very rude, good thing there were no children in today! Loads of innuendo about sharp
teeth in dark places….. oo…er missus!
Next up was Margaret with her green uke, "Messing About On The River", brrr!!! too cold
Margaret.She justified the choice by blaming it on poor Viv, who also chose her second
song, "Crystal Chandeliers."
Clive is back with another dodgy joke, stolen hats and ten comandments. Paul Steele is
introduced, and can't resist cracking a joke. Thankfully it was short. With "College" scarf
nonchalantly draped, he plays a beautiful rendition of "Let It Be Me". Trust Paul tospoil the
mood by saying "That's enough of the romantic c**p".Springstein's "Born To Run" is his
second offering. Very well performed, as usual.
As the last notes fade I have a deep sense of foreboding, Clive's back with his jokebook. No,
it's Liz's book this time. She reads from a book called "Watch Out For Sprouts" which turns
out to be a collection of Children's poems. She recites one about Science. Her next poem is
her own, "Secret Santa", her 08 Christmas poem for those of us who weren't at the
Christmas Party." Ah!, the trials of gift shopping for office colleagues.
Clive again with another church joke, Len is next… hooray! Pleased to be back with us, and
we are pleased to see him too. The first number is a Neil Young song, new to me, "The
Needle and The Damage Done". "Pretty Flamingo" is his second song, it was written by the
same chap who wrote the theme tune to "Banana Splits".. surreal!
I now have a morbid dread of Clive's joke book, here he comes again. I'm not disappointed..
blonde bimbo joke….sigh!
Thankfully Bernard takes the stage and gives us some jolly tunes on his concertina. Great
stuff Bernie. I thought that Alan was next as he was up front, but I was wrong. Although it is
usual to put the reviewer on before the break, I was completely surprised when Clive
announced Tone Deaf Leopard. I'd no idea what Trevor had chosen to play, but that's
nothing new. We did "Thieves Of Peckham Rye" and "No Baguettes." It was great to be
The break at an end, Clive's back with another blonde joke… then Norman is on , he's got a
joke about gardening… in a lunatic asylum ! a precursor to a George Formby song, "Country
Mansion and a Lunatic Assylum"? Or more likely "Perhaps You Believe it Now". Whatever, it
was full of ghostly goings on. His second was also one of Formby's, "Andy The Handyman."
Alan Neville is next up, not only has he had a birthday, but has a new
song about getting older. Great words, and a beautiful melody, it must be called "Drinking in
The Last Chance Saloon". He then lowers the tone with his brilliantly written parody of
"Greensleaves". Pass the tissues someone. The Fab choir was in full flow in the choruses.
Ploughman's Lunch sang separately today, Clive sang a song by The Singing Postman
"Let's Go Down To The January Sales", followed by "Empty Echoes" about redundant
ploughboys. A good traditional sounding song, well sung. Today is Plough Sunday.
John and Margaret are next. John has a new guitar, a huge twelve string. Their first number
is a broken token song,"John Riley", nicked from Tom Bliss, who recently guested at
Havering. Beautifully performed, with great clarity. A gospel song next, "Down To The River
To Pray." With enthusiastic tambourine accompaniment. Great stuff!
Linda of P.L. next, with a great traditional song, "Follow The Plough", with a too-ra-ly chorus
to join in with.. To cheer us in this grim weather, her next offering was a summer song, "The
Lark In The Morning."
Another jolly ploughboy song.
Time for a short comfort break before the raffle is drawn.
Everyone on for a quick one, Bill's was certainly that.
Margaret next with "Banks Of The Ohio." With the choir in full flow once more.
Paul Steele is on now, I think he's on a Bruce Springstein trip today, but he's driving down
the "Broke Down Road."
Clive does a poem about "The National Poetry Competition", it's not even British Clive! Poor
Liz has to follow that. Sympathy Liz.
She reads "Christmas Day At Coalhouse Fort" as her family had another cold walk there at
Len next, with a Beatles song, that he heard on Radio 2, "Strawberry Fields"….
I'm having a heap of grief with this laptop today, so Clive will have to sort it out…penance for
the dreadful jokes I say!
TDL are back and rockin' with "I'm A Rebel", then Norman restores the decorum with
"Walking My Baby Back Home."
Alan is next and has a rummage for some words. "When You Leave Here Please Consider
The Neighbours". We can all understand the sentiment in this, because we have all been
John and Margaret give us "The Handsome Cabin Boy"
It's gone half-past five and time it seems, for another of Clive's jokes..oh dear!
Ploughman's Lunch finish the show today. They give us a Pace Egging Wassail that mixes
Christmas and Easter.A right,rousing end to the first session of 2009!